As a young kid, everyone described me as shy, sensitive, and smart. I was always trying to read what was going on for other people, and I did my best to be the “good boy”.
Growing up in the Midwest, and in a family where it was expected that I engage in tough sports like wrestling, football, and boxing...I naturally played the role.
Even though I loved sports, I noticed that my deeply sensitive side had no place to go in this world, and I developed ways to shut it down.
I shut it down so much that I created a totally opposite role as the “tough guy” or “bad boy” to find acceptance within my peer group.
When dating came into the picture, I found that many women were attracted to my persona, and I sunk deeper into my pattern.
By college, I had created a path of destruction that included broken relationships, legal troubles, school expulsion, and drug addiction. My only opportunity at that point was to attend a treatment center and start a new way of living.
I thought that I was going to rehab to sort out my drug and alcohol problem, but what I learned was that the real issue was with my relationship to myself and others. When it came down to it, I realized that what I really wanted was a close family, community, and partner.
After I re-entered the real world, I did my best to better myself and I followed my dream to move out west and work in the therapy industry. Although I was great at helping people, focusing on others gave me some protection from facing myself and I still greatly struggled with intimate relationships, behind the scenes.
I went on many dates and participated in a few long-term relationships that ended terribly. It was easier to put the blame on them and look at my long history of social work as evidence that I was more mature or enlightened on the subject of relationship.
It took a year-long hiatus, and traveling abroad by myself, for me to realize that I had problems. The fun and freedom I experienced was matched by the loneliness and frustration I felt when I was forced to be with my feelings. This struggle again opened me up to the possibility of more depth and understanding.
It was no accident that I drew Jenny into my life. We both agreed within our first coffee date that we were looking for someone who could stand in the fire, take ownership, and go the distance.
That’s what we have been doing ever since...and it continues to be the most challenging and uplifting experience of my life.
After combining forces in a partnership, we naturally chose to combine our passion, skills, and knowledge to help other couples create the most intimate, loving, and powerful relationships on the planet.
I have a unique interest in the experience of meditation as a practice for developing radical self-love, and extreme ownership in his life.
After 10,000 hours of helping adult men and women create deeper connections in therapeutic programs in Utah, New Mexico and Hawaii, becoming a Professionally Certified Coach through the International Coaches Federation…and getting trained specifically in Relationship Coaching, Jenny and I have co-founded the Advanced Relationship Academy.
I am a lifelong student, teacher, and soul searcher. I invite you to open your heart, quiet your mind, and witness what is possible in your closest relationship.