It's normal to find yourself in circular arguments with your partner or for one of you to take things just a little bit too far. Even though the issue may be small or the interaction brief, sometimes the damage can last for a LONG time. You may start to think that you two will never figure out how to work through these silly disagreements, let alone the big stuff. However, by creating some context, inquiry, and tactfulness into your conversations, you can avoid so much of the disconnect that causes unnecessary pain.
In this episode, Bryce and Jenny speak to 5 measurements that help keep communication healthy and effective. By asking ourselves and each other about our intentions, our experience, and our goals, we are able to have way smoother disagreements and not get caught in "circular arguing". Not only are we able to reach a place that feels good for both people, we are also able to do in a ways that avoid causing more harm.
With each Pillar comes a question. If we aren't playing the same game or for the same reasons, then we are bound to struggle. This is a new paradigm in connecting in which we strive to bring all the part of us and our experience to the table. It's possible to shift little disagreements into play, bigger fights into healing moments, and it allows us space to tackle the big stuff while honoring who we are and what we truly want for our partners. This is the stuff that you didn't learn in school.